Sex Criminals has been incredibly successful since it’s inception.  Matt Fraction and Chip Zdarsky continually pull us in with each issue and the series was chosen as TIME magazine’s Comic Book of the Year. As such, I’m sure I’m not the only person hoping for it to be picked up for a movie or television show.  That is why it is this weeks fancast choice.  While I’d love to cast Fraction and Kelly Sue DeConnick (who does hold a Drama degree from the University of Texas – Austin) as Jon and Suzie, I must pick others.

Jon – Trevor Fehrman

 Sex Criminals Jon

While his name may not be familiar his role in Clerks 2 is known to many.  Fehrman played Elias, the wholesome nerd who loves Jesus.  It’s easy to see an actor whose greatest turn to date came in the bawdy playground of Kevin Smith play a character who refers to the timeless place he travels to post-orgasm as “Cumworld”.  While he doesn’t have an extensive film resume, he’d be a perfect fit to play Jon.  All he really needs is the right haircut and some glasses. 

Suzie – Kat Dennings

Sex Criminals Suzie

Mix her character Darcy from Thor with Norah from Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist and you have Suzie.  It’s not an exact science, but Denning could portray Suzie pretty accurately.  Dennings has been acting since she was ten years old in a variety of roles, including an appearance on Sex and the City.  That combined with her other roles, she no stranger to sex-centric content.  One would hope that if made into a show Sex Criminals would finally be able to get permission to use Queen’s “Fat Bottomed Girls” (something which series writer Matt Fraction has made a point of great humor in the book).  Seeing Dennings perform that song would be both amazing and hilarious.

Kegelface – Elizabeth Perkins

Sex Criminals Kegelface

Celia Hodes, her character on Weeds, is a lot like Kegelface.  In fact, they’d be best friends in real life.  While this wouldn’t take full advantage of Perkins’ acting ability, it would be fun to watch her play the role of Kegelface.  We’ve already seen her play an overbearing mother, which is basically the same as being part of the sex police.  That’s a parent’s job, right?  Overall, she has had an amazing career.  She’s played around 50 different roles, and played them well, giving her the versatility to really play any character she is offered.

Jasmine St. Cocaine – Tiffani Amber Thiessen

Sex Criminals Jasmine St. Cocaine

It’s difficult to imagine Thiessen saying yes to this role, but it would be nice to see something different from her.  Since her glory days on Saved by the Bell, she has added several acting credits to her name, but most people aren’t aware of the fact that Thiessen still exists. That is unless they happen to watch one of the shows she’s stared in recently. While she’s made somewhat of  return to the limelight with her continuing role on USA Network’s White Collar, a role like Jasmine would be a far meatier (pun most definitely intended) role than anything she’s been offered in the last decade.

Rachel – Lizzy Caplan

Sex Criminals Rachel

While most of her roles in the past have been supporting ones, and this would be another to add to the list, the 32-year-old actress has demonstrated her range and the ability play a wide variety of characters.  Janice from Mean Girls and Gena in Bachelorette are both great examples.  Both of those characters have strong personalities and so does Rachel. Caplan and Jennings have yet to star in a film together and this would be an amazing avenue for that to become a reality.

Final Cut

Every actor has their strengths and weaknesses.  This cast would bring out those strengths in one another making this a great show or movie to watch.  This would be great exposure for not only the actors, but the comic book world.  The majority of titles that are optioned are from Marvel and DC.  Sex Criminals would be a way to showcase a comic that has nothing to do with super heroes on screen.

Lindsey Bass

It has been said that Fraction and Zdarsky's Sex Criminals: Just the Tips was based on my personal life. Harley Quinn is my spirit animal. I'm not sure what all of this actually says about me as a person.

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